A friend of mine, who has a tendency to be controversial, invited a conversation about a blog he stumbled across written by a member of the LDS faith who has very serious concerns about the practice, policies, and basic doctrines of the Church. This friend invites many of these conversations, and every issue is a bit different. However, I have found my reaction to all of them is very much the same.
My heart aches for their anger, pain and frustration.
I can't say I have all the answers. In fact, the culture of my chosen faith leaves me struggling--particularly within my chosen fields of study. The humanities in general are not necessarily spiritual, but they are instinctually human, prone to every good characteristic as much as the bad. And with the increasing ability to share everything with everyone, what is best and needful and of utmost delicate nature is not as promoted as something that would sell well. But what I can say is I see your troubled heart and I raise you a testimony.
At the end of the day, your relationship with God is your relationship with God. He is your Father, who knows you. No matter what your family, neighbors, bishop or prophet say or think, no one will know that relationship better than you. God knows when you disagree with a message at General Conference, just as much as He knows your favorite food. And since that is the case, if said "you" has a problem with the way women are treated by the administration of the LDS faith, it is logical to say He knows that as well. And He still loves you.
I'm all for questions, and I'm all for answers...and while I'm not all for blind faith, I do recognize the merit in basic testimonies offered as a place-filler until something more substantial appears.
Once upon a time I did have doubts. I was angry about the culture of my faith. But eventually, I just got tired of it. Not only that, but I found it was easier to enjoy and appreciate smaller things which did not offend me than to wage war on...well, a blanket everything. I'm not 100% solid on everything, like polygamy or church involvement in politics, and I don't have a desire to be. But at this current time, those things are not impeding the decisions I make everyday to maintain peace, balance and order within my spiritual (and thereby everything else included) life. I suppose when they do, I may pick a side and begin to wage war, or I may not. I currently feel that my war-mongering days are behind me. But Mormon felt that way too and it didn't last for him either.
To any of my non-Mormon readers, I appologize if you found this post rather exclusive. While the original discussion is directed to those within the faith, it certainly can be applied to anyone.
To close, a Bloch for good measure.
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