A certain freedom is cultivated by belonging to oneself. Don't be mistaken; that does not mean that life is best lived solo, without any other being or influence present. Not at all. But why belong to anyone else without belonging to your self first?
Yet we often do what breaks us for the sake of another. We idolize it--giving our self away to everyone and everything for every reason possible. Someone told me to. My parents did it. I was paid for it. It was part of a deal. He triple-dog-dared me on a times-infinty-pinky swear. Everything claims us, as we claim it, but when do we claim ourselves?
Most settle; staking down to a place, a job, a love. They stay put. Once it seemed cliché to stay put. So overdone, so common, so traditional, so over-appreciated. But at the same time, it's comforting, easy. Relaxing. You don't have to count; you can just follow the beat of the blaring boom-box felt through the floorboards. Some beautiful dance comes out of that.
I find myself dancing in spinning circles this morning. Much like a top on an unstable surface, I follow the heaviest pull. Without a purpose? I have a purpose: my purpose is to wander.
It isn't that I'm homeless--it's that everywhere is home. Spatial placement is a reflection of where your heart is, and well, my heart just doesn't stay in one place. Or perhaps it's more accurate to say that it does, but it expands. A universal heart, which is everywhere yet no where all at once.
That's it; that's it. I am she who wanders, never to settle, always to have settled already. Yes. This is what happens when one belongs to their self.
Every once in a while the dance needs to create the beat. The pulse is given life through the string of yarn connecting beads of morning dew. Moment to moment, meaning is sought from one place to the next, every instance offering something incredibly timeless, fleeting and eternal all at once. Time becomes nothing but a plane of space for the exploration of the soul, and meaning is in the movement just as much as in the beginning and the end.
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