I watched you as a child. You were beautiful, and I was in awe. Tall, muscular, with bright blue eyes that reflected a world that I wanted so badly to understand. Never could I have realized that someday you would be gone, and I would be standing on a sidewalk wishing you were here.
You made me laugh with a smile. I wanted to be just like you. I was just like you. When you laughed, I laughed. When you thought, I thought. When you played, I played. When you cried, I cried. But you died, and I lived. I lived and learned and loved, and you died again and again.
Our entire lives we knew what was truth. We knew where is was, and how to find it. That mattered, though sometimes we just didn't care--but I blame that on youth. You knew better than I did. I knew. I saw it when we would sit in church and you would sit next to your dad every Sunday. You knew because you had to know. Because your dad needed you to know so that he could know too. And so did I. We followed you.
But now, my fallen hero, you are lost, and though you remain so, I cannot help you. When your mother left, what could I say? What could I do? When your girlfriend got pregnant, could I have done anything? When you went to jail, how could I speak? I stood against a wall waiting for my class to start while you sat in a cell, devoid of life and meaning. I stand now, the person you almost made, knowing that you, my friend, lay crumpled on a floor, in a room the size of my closet. And I can do nothing.
How can I say that the door is open, when you know already that it is? You knew where is was, because you showed me. How can I show you if you will not go? I cannot carry you, and you will not let me. What am I to do?
Leave him they say. He is gone, there is nothing you can do. And perhaps they are right. But tell me Josh. Tell me with everything that you know. Is there nothing I can do?
I tried to leave, but every couple steps I stop and wait. I wait for you. I've been waiting to tell you this; these words have been yours for years. "Write him" Bob said. And I wanted to. But what can I say? I've said all I can say: I wish you were here.
Pretty sweet sketch huh?
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