Sunday, April 1, 2012

The line of a lifetime, or 4 hours

As some of you know, I auditioned for NBC's The Voice Season 3 yesterday. It was pretty much like any other tv singing competition--long lines of crazy people. I'd never considered myself crazy before that point.

I guess that brings me to why I was there in the first place. I spend my time (about 80% I'd say) doing things that teach me more about myself. Who I am, what I can do, where my heart is...and I suppose you can say this was one of those things.

Don't get me wrong, I love to sing. But it's not a passion of pursuit. A girl I met in the audition line was recounting her similar experiences for American Idol and The X Factor. There were young hopefuls by the handfuls, and not-so-young hopefuls by the dozen. And they all wanted to be there. Every single one of them. If I hadn't flown to L.A. for it, I would have just gone shopping and forgot the whole thing. 4 hours in a line? Please.

What I found more interesting were the people in my group of 10 in the same 15-minute audition session with me. The weakest one there really wasn't bad at all. He just would have done better choosing a song in his range and wasn't so nervous. But they all had the ability to sing, and the desire to be there.

The one girl who was asked to sing again was 17, and she was good. I don't know if I would call her ability great, but she was solid with a distinctive quality to her performance, and it is a tv show. And what she gave said, clearly, that she deserved a spot on the show.

It was rewarded by a spot on a maybe-call-back list.

There were 2 other things that stood out in that 4 hour experience.

One was the words of the production judge. "You were all good, but the rest of you just aren't in the 1% the show is looking for. This is an extremely competitive show. But thanks for coming in!"

It's not the feedback that struck me, it's the competition part. But that's a long thought that deserves a different post.

The other was the walk out of the room, when the two girls who spent their line-time prepping for a rejection they were 98% sure was coming were shocked that I was just as silent after the room as I was before it. I guess they thought my silence was nerves. That I was quiet except to warm-up because I was too scared to talk and be warm and friendly.

I did smile and answer their questions, and listen to their fears and jokes and where they were from. I wasn't unfriendly.

In fact, I'm not sure what they expected. Crying? Relief? Resentment? Bitterness?

"Nothing?? You're so quiet!" Said one girl with a white sweater and very red lipstick. That one is very, very infatuated with her boyfriend. I think he is new, because she talks about him with everyone, every chance she gets. He is her life, as many new boyfriends are in the first few months.  Perhaps she was waiting for my own boyfriend story. Or maybe for me to take my phone out of my bag and call someone.

There's always next year, they said before I disappeared out the door. For them, yes, I suppose there is. But I learned long ago that if I wanted something, I have to work for it. Dropping in and hoping isn't enough. For some, in a short distance, it is. But I'm not in it for the short distance, not anymore. I'm in it for eternity.

I think that is worth saying.