Stunning Blue Eyes

You joke about exposing yourself and then you look at me. "I'm sorry, we're offending you."

"I'm from DC, I've heard worse" I answer. From Brad, Jack, Will, Colin, Josh. It's a life I left. But you don't know that. You don't know that you are just like them. Down to your gorgeous blue eyes and your two parent-less children and your long record of transgressions.

And when I say that I can't take a break and ignore the customer, you say "You work at McDonalds."

"Apparently you don't know me at all" I say to you. What does that even mean, other than I am getting paid by a corporate presence to take food orders from insomniacs like myself? No, Mr. Hyde, I do not work at McDonalds; you do. I stay awake at McDonalds, I wash dishes at McDonalds, I schmooze people under the name McDonalds. But I also leave McDonalds. I do homework. I paint pictures, I play the piano, I write papers, I sing songs, I hold meetings, I read. And you sleep. You don't even leave to sleep. You work at McDonalds and you sleep, and I do not presume to know anything about that life.

So, my blue eyed monster of a man, what now? It is far more offensive for you to apologize for your crudeness than it is for you to be crude at all. Because while you are foolish and rude to make such a response, you are arrogant to sum my individuality into a stereotype.

3:31 AM

"Can I get a double cheeseburger, plain with mac sauce on it?"

"I' m sorry sir, we're only serving breakfast right now"

"Are you serious?"

"Yes"

"Ok, then can I have a medium chocolate milkshake?"

"I'm sorry, our milkshake machine goes into an automatic cleaning mode at 2:30"

"Are you serious?"

"Yes"

Explicitives. "I need a minute then"

"Ok, tell me when you're ready"

Pause. "Can I have two sausage burritos and a hash brown?"

"Do you want to make that a meal?"

"No, just the burritos and hash brown."

"Ok, your total is $3.22; please pull forward to the first window."

"Thanks."

10 minutes later. "Excuse me, sir, what was your order?"

"Two burritos and a hash brown."

"Oh, it'll be right out. Do you want any sauce?"

"Sweet and sour?"

"That costs 15 cents extra"

"Never mind. Hot sauce please." Pause. "How is your night going?"

"Same as usual."

"What time to you get off?"

"5"

"That's the graveyard alright. How long have you been a night owl?"

"All my life"

"Really? Is that why you work here?"

"I have nothing better to do." Shrug and smile. "Here you are, sir, sorry for the wait."

"It's all right. Have a good night."

"You too sir."

At least the burritos were hot.